"Housewives watch TV all day" says Consat

I came across this advert by Consat where the idea they are trying to push is that they have something interesting to show round the clock however it shows come kind of prejudice.  The central role in the advert is the housewife who is seen at every point watching TV from 9.30am to 9.20pm.  Let's do a bit of a breakdown here;

9.30am  Mum has finished school-runs, probably has breakfast and then sits to watch TV.
1.30pm  She is still watching TV while she receives her guest
4.00pm   After school-runs she is watching TV with her children
7.00pm  They have probably had dinner and they still are watching TV
9.20pm  Dad is back and the whole family is watching TV

I don't have an issue with watching TV, and there are sometimes when I feel like it I follow some series but to show that a housewife has nothing better to do with her time than to watch TV all day is rather offensive.

I am sure there are some people who do that, not only women and that, in my opinion, is a sign of depression.  If as a housewife you spend all your time watching TV you clearly don't have a vision for your life, please check yourself, time and tide wait for no housewife.

As for Consat, please change that advert.  That is a very lazy portayal of your creativity.

Some time for 'Me' at last (sigh)....My Nigerian Dream

Yes, I am home alone now, the children finally went back to school today.  That means I have a few hours to myself and I thought I should put something out there before I settle down to work.  I did not get the time to say what my dream for Nigeria is since Independence Day.  Since we are still in Independence Month here goes

I dream of a Nigeria where everybody is allowed to do what they do best and no one is forced to study something they are not good at or work where they are not being fulfilled.  This way we could have round pegs in round holes.  When people are happy and flourishing doing what they love, that will spell the well being of the whole nation.

God Bless Nigeria!

Getting on with our assignments

As the Lord gave me the grace this morning I woke up to commune with my Father above and afterwards I obeyed His voice to write.  Dear reader I have been so behind in keeping in touch here and one of the main reasons is I just didn't think anyone was reading.  However I got a message from someone saying she would like to hear from me again and I met with someone who ever since I told her about my blog has read every post and is waiting for more.  She even gave me ideas on how to keep up.

You see as children of God, we sometimes tend to forget our assignments.  I was concerned about my effort being wasted rather than focusing on the One who asked me to write.  So I let all the different things which pull me from different ends pull me away from writing; so many excuses, so many projects how do I cope?

What is a homemaker doing?  He/she must have all the time in world.  It is very common belief about homemakers that we are lazy.  Wow!  Maybe some are, but not all.  A few weeks ago, I was asked by a friend if I could do a literature review for him in one and a half days, hmmmm.  I am a slow reader and hence a slow writer and according to my pace I need just about one and a half days to think about my structure while I am researching and reading.  If I were single, well I could try to rustle something up after a few cups of coffee and some all-night work, a few hours of sleep and work again.  But the reality is I am not single.  I cannot honestly tell you how many hours I have to myself within one and a half days especially while the children are on holiday.  I cannot predict that they will definitely cooperate with me by keeping quiet either to watch television or by keeping themselves busy.  They might just decide that they want my full attention for that day and they will frustrate all my plans to work.  To their beautiful minds, “we want to play with mummy today”.  So my 2 year old daughter would insist on sitting on my laps while I am writing and of course that wouldn't be just for her to watch me but to be part of the writing.  Then of course my 4 year old son wouldn't want to be kept out of the action.  In the bid to be helpful they might just break something.  In the bid to keep themselves busy they might leave the tap running and flood the bathroom.  Something funny might just happen which may not be funny at the time it is happening.  So, unfortunately as juicy as the proposed topic for the literature review was I just could not take it.  So are my children an excuse for not getting stuff done?  Well I will talk more about that in another post.  However what I would like to leave with you dear reader are the following;

God has an assignment for us all (the homemaker included) and there is a vacuum being felt when you don’t do what you are supposed to do.  Don’t focus on your efforts but on the One who sent you.

Secondly, if you have a misconception that all homemakers are lazy, please think again.  If you are single, I would advise you not to judge because you might just find yourself in that position and you will feel sorry for the way you have judged others.

Family Life - No shame for the Homemaker

Family is a beautiful institution; the love, the caring, the sharing, the fighting and quarreling - all these make family wonderful.  This is why even people who are somehow alienated from their blood families try to find solace by making family outside.  In the beginning even our creator saw that it was not good for anyone to be alone, hence the physical creation of woman and the command to multiply.

So what am I getting at with this family thing?  If you agree with me that family is beautiful, I wonder if you would be as pained as I am at the breakdown of family life.  From my perspective as a homemaker, family life is breaking down because of the extinction of the stay-at-home homemaker.  Traditionally, the woman is the homemaker but with changing times you find male homemakers or househusbands now.  As I wrote in an earlier post, you've got to have thick skin to tell anyone or fill out a form stating your occupation as housewife or househusband.  Why should that be the case?  What is so shameful about being a homemaker?

There is no cause for shame really.  In fact as a home maker you should be really proud of yourself.  I am!  I must confess it's taken time to get there though.  You see taking time to take care of your children is very important.  These are nations in the making, so you need to take deliberate steps at building the nations under your watch.

The destruction of future nations or generations is what is at stake when we do not take care of our families and this is why I believe there is an attack on family life as God ordained.  Staying at home is just for a season, it will not last forever.  There is time for everything, at time to stay at home and a time to build a career.

I will be talking about stepping out in a few posts from now, but what I can say is that you will know when the time is right.

Bye for now

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year there!


It's still January so I can still wish you a happy new year.  I feel it's such a privilege to get to see a new day and I feel even more awed to get to see a new year.  It sort of gives me the joy that I have yet another day on the ladder of destiny, that I still have a chance to fulfil the purpose for which I was created, the higher purpose being to live a life that glorifies my maker.


So I started this year like many others with hope for a better year than it was for me last year, this time with a better sense of purpose.  Last year, for the first time in my life I had no resolutions and so I started the year rather clueless of what I wanted to achieve.  But you know I believe that ALL things work for good to those that love God and are called to His purpose.  So even though I didn't make any resolutions, I ended the year in rather high spirits and stepped into 2014 with higher expectations.


Do I have any resolutions this year?  Well yes, only one.  To have a closer walk with my maker which means wanting for myself what He wants for me.  That way I can't go wrong because I know He only wants what's best for me.


Do you have any? I would advice that you should not just say them but write them down and then review from time to time so as to hold yourself accountable.   I wish you all the best as you try to keep them.


I promise this is going to be a fun year on my page so please enjoy the ride!


Cheers

Depending on a Man (Part 2)

It seems so many bad things have happened in life that people believe that good things only happen in an ideal world.  If things are going well with you, you don’t seem to belong to this world.  Anyway, I am continuing from where I stopped last time.

You see the way it works as a homemaker is that one partner makes home while the other goes out to bring bread.  Traditionally the woman does the former and the man does the latter.  So you could say that my family has conformed to the traditional way of life.  I am a housewife….

How I understand this so called “traditional” way of life is that as husband and wife we are a team.  God is the head of the team and we each have our roles to play and as we grow the dynamics of the team evolve.  Whatever the case may be there is no “I” in a team; we work together towards a shared vision to produce a particular outcome.  This is what plays out in the ideal world you may say and it’s really a pity that the way of the world has gone so much out of hand for us not to believe in the ideals of the family unit as a team.  I have heard so many sorry stories of women suffering because they were financially dependent on their husbands and so this is why people are generally weary of women who are housewives.  Most women don’t want to be housewives for the fear of being dumped or just being unable to meet some personal financial obligations.  Women’s family members or friends also don’t encourage women to become housewives for the same reason.

To be honest, it is really, really difficult to be financially dependent, especially when resources are scarce.  Think of it, I started working when I was 19 and I had moved abroad for the first time.  It was wonderful to have a few coins in my pocket to do a few things for myself without having to ask daddy.  I worked and fended for myself when I moved out on my own at 21.  I paid my bills, my rent, you name it.  I made my own decisions when I wanted to.  I went on holiday when I could afford it.  So here I am, I get back home, no job, no money I am earning.  My husband is doing fine but then we hit hard times so we needed to manage resources.  There were some decisions that could not be taken…So how did I cope?

Look at it this way, marriage is about taking the other person into consideration when making decisions, even in details as mundane as what to have for breakfast.  So there is already a little tension anyway.  It’s just more frustrating when the decisions are financial ones.  I need to get money from my husband to change my underwear (smile).  It’s funny when I hear women say that like it’s the worst insult on their dignity.  What dignity are you talking about for crying out loud?  The person buying your underwear sees underneath your underwear anyway, so what’s the big deal?  Anyway, what have I done so far?

The Bible says there is a time for everything under the sun.  For me it means there is a time to be quiet and keep to yourself and there is a time to come out of your shell.  So in the beginning of my journey as a housewife I decided to keep to myself.  I knew I was and am doing the right thing but I refused to have to justify my existence so that I wouldn't get drained.  You know sometimes when you have to talk so much you might start to blaspheme.  Ask Naomi in the book of Ruth.  When people were having a funfair to welcome her home and they saw she did not quite meet their expectations she blamed it all on God.  God had dealt with her badly, she said.  Ask Job.  When his friends went on and on tormenting him he ended up cursing the day he was born.  Being by myself and being content with what I have is what has kept me going.

Secondly, understanding that it is not my husband that sustains me but God.  My trust is in God to bring to pass what He has promised.  Not just financially but in all aspects of your marriage, as a woman you need to depend on God, not on your husband.  The poor guy is a human being like you, so you get what you bargain for if you depend on him; disappointment. 

Depending on a man? Part 1

When I was about to make my journey back home form the UK, a few of my relatives advised that I should try sorting out employment before coming home.  Surely I would get one at the drop of a hot because of where I was coming from and the degrees and experience I had bagged.  The rationale behind it was that I should not come home to depend on my husband.

Well I understand this rationale very well but unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you view it, I did not get a job.  I wasn't in the right frame of mind at the time to try (details in another post).  So I became a homemaker by default.  As I said in my last post, you need a lot of self-esteem to live confidently as a housewife if not you will find yourself trying to justify your existence every time.  So how did I handle it?

First I did a lot of reading.  I am naturally a home girl so being out and about was not really my thing.  Then I happened to go for a Christian Leadership Conference and there I learnt a few tips to cope.

My conclusion was this...Like Joseph the dreamer in the Bible, I had a lot of dreams, I still do.  However on his journey through life he had to invest in other people's dreams before his became a reality.  As a homemaker, I see myself investing in my family and one thing is certain, I cannot pursue my dreams to the detriment of the whole family.

In facing others I just have to be confident that I am doing the right thing for me and my family, regardless of what everyone else thinks about me.  I will continue with my coping strategy in my next post.....

Blessings....