Why Can't You Drive?

I learnt how to drive in Germany and got my driver's licence in 2002. It was a skill I promised myself I would get when I am in Europe because I heard my aunties accusing my mum of not learning how to drive while she was there. Having positive peer pressure was also an advantage, I and my friends kept encouraging one another to get it.

Anyway when I got to Nigeria in 2009 I couldn't drive. I had driven a car about 4 times from the time I got my licence until I got back to Nigeria.....by the way, even after getting the licence I was scared of driving. I remember when I was taking practical driving lessons in Germany, I would feel like kissing the floor once I got out of the driver's seat.....

So fast forward, I'm back home in Nigeria, with a European driver's licence and I can't drive...my husband just couldn't understand why. Oh and by the way, I even had issues walking in Lagos. I used to take long walks to and from work in the city of London for at least 40 minutes each way. I thought I could do the same in Lagos....well I could to a certain extent.....I had to brace myself.... everything na hussle for dis Lagos o..... you'd understand if you live and work in Lagos. Lagos is so fast paced.... everyone is in a hurry, pedestrians, motorbikes, tricycles, cars, buses.... everyone claims right of way... it's crazy. It's not long before there's an accident somewhere, even if it's a slight brush up..... Anyways.....I found it really difficult to walk not to talk of driving.

But at some point I had to ask myself if it was really just the hustle and bustle that made me scared of driving or something deeper. I mean, if my husband did not have time to drive me somewhere, I could be stuck. Not that I couldn't take public transport. Or imagine my husband travels, the car is nicely parked and I go out to take public transportation. This happened many times. It was worse when I had children and we would walk passed the car and go take a bus, then it rains and we're stuck. I pitied myself and my children in situations like that.

After a little reflection, I realised it had to do with my mind set as well. I am on the small side in terms of stature and my size really deceived me, it still does sometimes. But my thinking was , 'what is this small girl doing at the stirring wheel?" I think I saw a few smallish ladies like me driving and that was my reaction towards them, so automatically that was my reaction towards myself. So I had to change my mind set and begin to see that driving was not a luxury, status or stature thing but a necessity and I took control of the stirring wheel. Now I've been driving for close to 5 years.

Why am I writing this? I have seen some women who are where I used to be. Their husbands drive them to Church and if he has to stay for a meeting, they either wait for about 3 hours doing nothing or he takes them home earlier..... it's such a burden on both parties as well as the children. Since I started driving, I can go out with my children whenever we want to and my husband is happy to take a bus as long he doesn't need to go out when he is not ready. We have a driver now, but we're not stuck.....

So if you are there where I used to be, I want to encourage you to do some reflection.....ask yourself why something that cannot talk or move without you taking control should scare you. Overcome your our fears and take control of it. I tell you, driving gives you a sense of freedom and the more you do it, you get used to it. It's not like your fears will disappear immediately....I used to have diarrhoea for an hour before I'm set to go out, and I would almost give up going altogether....somewhere along the line it stopped. I even hit a car once but I wouldn't let it stop me. Oh and I drove into a gutter as well. But I kept going. 

So you go girl....face your fears.... till next time

Ciao

Perfectionism....do you suffer from this?

I always want to write something, there's so much going on in my head which seems good to share, but I'm always looking for a perfect time and place, a perfect mood also. And so I end up not writing at all. And I haven't written in over a year....wow!

Perfectionism is a big problem for me, how about you. 

How many business ideas have you had that you haven't even spoken to anyone about because you feel you have got it all figured out? You keep procrastinating because the circumstances are not perfect. Look dear, the circumstances will never be perfect so stop looking for perfection. 

It's time to get the job done! No more excuses! Take a step, fall, get bruised, then get up and try again. You can only do it better the next time round. But how do you know what could go wrong and what to avoid next time if you don't even try?

So dear reader if you've got something on your mind to do and you're scared because you think it won't come out perfect, find someone to talk to, someone who will encourage. If you don't have a chief encourager, be of good courage....do it afraid, just do it!..

Ciao for now
F

In Response to Taiwo Akinlami's Hard Choices pt 1

Taiwo Akinlami is a Child Protection expert in Nigeria and he recently wrote post titled Hard Choices (18/01/15).  Now if you have ever read his posts, he could be called a poet, I just love how he writes and even speaks.  To get the full gist of what he wrote I refer you to his post https://taiwoakinlami.wordpress.com/2015/01/18/hard-choices

I am however going to go through each of his points here so you can see the hard choices I have made, where I am struggling and what I am learning along the way.

First choice:  To have children or not to.  As he puts it, “gone are those days when we have children for any other reason than being ready to effectively protect and raise them properly, knowing what to do per time, how and when to do it and the fortitude to do it”.

My answer and my choice: Unfortunately, I don’t think those days are gone at all.  When I was much younger (under ten years old) I thought I would have ten children because I love children (babies really).  When I was in my teens I stopped at two, especially when I watched someone in labour on TV, at some point I even thought I wouldn't put myself through the pain of labour, I would rather adopt.  In my early 20s I felt I was a total mess and wouldn't make a good mother.  Besides the world was just so cruel, why would anyone want to bring forth children in such a world?

Now if I wasn’t going to have children would there be any need to get married?  Nah…Marriage wasn’t an option for me at all.  I was going to be a career woman and not bother some poor dude out there with who I was; I really was a mental and emotional mess at the time.  However we grow and we develop and change and along the line I met my best friend and husband and nothing was going to stop me from marrying him.  Well with marriage comes the - should I call it - natural instinct to want to have children.  Of course, the prayers that came my way then were for me to have lots children.  My husband and I were living in different continents early on in our marriage so having children was not on our minds.  I wasn’t going to raise children as if I was a single parent when I wasn’t.  However family and friends alike were profusely praying for us and asking if all was well. 

However I continue to advice couples not to have children immediately you get married.  Take out sometime to enjoy and know each other and in the process prepare the home for the new arrivals that will eventually come.  I cannot say that I could totally be as articulate as TA states; I took it for granted that I should be ready to protect and raise them.  And this is the mainstream attitude to having children; like me I see so many people out there who just want to get married and have children because that is the way of the world; that’s what society demands, after all the Bible says “be fruitful and multiply”.  Not too many people are asking what to be fruitful in or what to multiply.  This is just translated that you have many children.  It is the economic situation around the world that is putting some sense to the amount of children people have these days.  So “almost” gone are those days when couples had 6 – 10 children.

But are people sincerely asking the fundamental questions TA states?

“What is the purpose of multiplication, is it to achieve population or dominion, is life a game of numbers or a game of dominion through values, etc?”

I’ll be honest; I did not deeply think about that when I was going to have children.  It was after I gave birth to my first child that the task ahead really dawned on me.  There were aspects of my upbringing that I felt should have been done better and I had to determine to do that for my children.  When my 10 month old son picked up his plate after eating and took it to the kitchen, it really dawned on me that he was copying what he saw, then I had to start thinking of what I wanted him to copy.  Had I articulated my personal values before I started having children?  Nope.  It was when I was pregnant that I got hold of some leadership books and I started reading.  Application became the next step and I am still developing.  Luckily my children are still very young, so as I develop I can model what I want them to copy from me.

If you had the patience to get to the end of this post, please do follow the continuation where I will continue with the next Hard Choices by TA

Have a beautiful day 

From the Homemaker....

Mrs Madonna Poulagha Porbeni (nee Afekafe)

The Porbeni Matriarch said good night on January 8 2014.  I didn't even get to say good bye apart from me calling her on New Year’s Day promising to spend the weekend with her.  She was my grandmother, such a beautiful woman.  A homemaker par excellence!  In her honour, I present her as the homemaker of the month of January.

The very first time I met her I called her aunty.  My perception of grandmother meant that she had to be old.  I met her when she was in her sixties but she looked so young, there was no way she could be my grandma.  So I kept going to my grand-dad’s first wife’s room thinking she was my grandma.  In a way she was, wasn't she?  In case you are wondering what I am talking about, in my grandma’s time polygamy seemed to be the order of the day, so my grandma was my grandpa’s third wife and she was by his side till the end of his life.  My grandparents celebrated their 58^th year anniversary in the year I got married, that was in 2006.  I have a picture of them in my living room and I hold it up as a milestone to beat should God give us grace to see beyond that time.

Oma, as she was fondly called which is German for grandma, was a homemaker; it was the norm in her days.  She told me she had wanted to be a nurse and she would have trained in the United Kingdom but my granddad could not leave her because there was nowhere to leave his beautiful wife.  Even in their old age my Opa did not like to leave her to go out on her own (smile).  She was a trained seamstress and she upheld very high standards till her old age.  I did not really get to see her work because by the time I met her she had stopped sewing due to her failing eye sight.  But the indications were there that she was very good at what she did.  I remember her sending me to her tailor to sew something for her, she had cut the material already to the length and style she wanted and given specific instructions on what to do.  Now only someone who knew the trade well could do that.  Then she was always looking out for new styles and checking out what the younger generation was wearing and probably seeing how she could adapt the styles to her age.

My Oma was fashionable to the very end of her life.  On Saturday she would have picked out her outfit ready for church the next day; double wrappers to match the head tie and a lovely blouse to go.  Her jewellery as well as her shoes and bag had to go well with what she wore.    

As a person she was really lovely, loving and caring.  She never forgot a birthday even my children’s birthdays and she always called me on my wedding anniversary.  I remember when I had my first child, I had him on a Tuesday and she took a cab to my house on Saturday to see me.  She put me on her lap and cuddled me before she saw the baby (my eyes are welling up with tears as I write this).

How I miss you so, my wonderful Oma.  When I found out my daughter had clubfoot, I couldn’t tell her because I knew she would be worried.  She eventually found out and she really was worried.  She was sorry that I had to go through the whole stress of my daughter’s treatment.  However, my daughter started walking in December 2013 and she was overjoyed to see her walk.  The last time I went to spend the weekend with her in December she was seriously playing with my little children and it was such a heart-warming sight to see.  She had not long before gone for a cataract removal so she could see them clearly.

My Oma, I miss you so much and I love you dearly…..

To thyself be true....

I cannot overemphasize on the difficulty of being a stay at home homemaker.  Imagine all your degree certificates gathering dust and you've probably lost confidence of getting a job.....As I said, staying home doesn't have to last forever it's all about time and seasons; a time to stay at home and take care of the family and a time to build a career.  It does take some planning though.

So a few years ago, I am beginning to itch.  I need to get out and do something and I do have something in my head about what I would like to do, only it's not going to raise any funds in the short term.  Then while I am thinking about it I get a call for a job offer.  Wow!  Without applying anywhere someone out there thinks I am capable enough to do this job.  It sounded exciting so why not give it a try?  I go on trip to Abuja leaving my breastfeeding baby at home with my mum for a few days and I go for training to start the job.

I loved everything the organisation stood for and that should have been enough reason to do the job right?  Well not quite.  It just wasn't my thing to be honest.  This was a kind of organisation I would support if  had the money but the job was showing more of my weaknesses than my strengths.  That wasn't a confidence builder at all.  

To be honest, I did not feel I could do it from the outset, so why did I take the job in the first place?  I was thinking of what people would think of me if I didn't take the job.  "Lazy homemaker, she just doesn't want to do anything..  Can you imagine she got a job just by sitting at home while there are so many people who would die for the same opportunity".  I remember speaking with my best friend who said just that.  "You are just being lazy and whinny".  I also thought of the much needed funds that would come to me.  So why not take up the challenge I told myself.  

I lasted only two and a half months doing the job.  I didn't do it as I ought and I was not happy with myself.  There is dignity in labor goes the saying.  I had some nice cash but I wasn't proud of getting it because I did not think I had earned it.

So what is the the lesson to be learnt here.  You will leave home in due course but don't rush at the first job that comes your way, it might not be yours and you'll be really unhappy at it.  It's not all about money you know.  You want to do something that you will enjoy doing and feel proud about doing as well.  Never mind what people are going say or think.  Either way, people will always talk and they are entitled to their opinions and you are entitled to your happiness.

My dear homemaker, be true to yourself and forget about the wagging tongues......

Until next time, stay blessed

Happy New Year from the Homemaker.....

Hello lovely readers,

Such an inconsistent 2014 it was on my part by not writing to you as regularly as I hoped to.  It’s now a New Year and like many of you I have New Year resolutions, one being that I want to send out at least one blog post a week.  This is Thursday now so I am still on track, but to really keep on track I got myself an accountability partner, someone who has given me a gentle reminder on what I asked her to hold me accountable for.  So this accountability partner thing is already paying off because I know she won’t keep off my back.  My advice to you dear reader is that if you want to get things done this year, it might be wise to speak to someone about it and let the person hold you accountable.  Then there would be a higher possibility of you surpassing your target than if you only said it to yourself.

As you can see, I have inadvertently asked you to hold me accountable by telling you what my target is and I am thanking you in advance for your support.

Lots going on this year in Nigeria; we are expecting to go to elections in February so that will be really exciting to see.  My heart goes out to my fellow homemakers up North, particularly in the Boko Haram troubled areas, who homemaking is being made precarious for.

All in all I can only pray and hope for the very best for my fellow citizens and my country as a whole.  Here’s a promise to keep in touch this year by God’s grace and with the help of my very special accountability partners.

God Bless

H

"Housewives watch TV all day" says Consat

I came across this advert by Consat where the idea they are trying to push is that they have something interesting to show round the clock however it shows come kind of prejudice.  The central role in the advert is the housewife who is seen at every point watching TV from 9.30am to 9.20pm.  Let's do a bit of a breakdown here;

9.30am  Mum has finished school-runs, probably has breakfast and then sits to watch TV.
1.30pm  She is still watching TV while she receives her guest
4.00pm   After school-runs she is watching TV with her children
7.00pm  They have probably had dinner and they still are watching TV
9.20pm  Dad is back and the whole family is watching TV

I don't have an issue with watching TV, and there are sometimes when I feel like it I follow some series but to show that a housewife has nothing better to do with her time than to watch TV all day is rather offensive.

I am sure there are some people who do that, not only women and that, in my opinion, is a sign of depression.  If as a housewife you spend all your time watching TV you clearly don't have a vision for your life, please check yourself, time and tide wait for no housewife.

As for Consat, please change that advert.  That is a very lazy portayal of your creativity.

Some time for 'Me' at last (sigh)....My Nigerian Dream

Yes, I am home alone now, the children finally went back to school today.  That means I have a few hours to myself and I thought I should put something out there before I settle down to work.  I did not get the time to say what my dream for Nigeria is since Independence Day.  Since we are still in Independence Month here goes

I dream of a Nigeria where everybody is allowed to do what they do best and no one is forced to study something they are not good at or work where they are not being fulfilled.  This way we could have round pegs in round holes.  When people are happy and flourishing doing what they love, that will spell the well being of the whole nation.

God Bless Nigeria!

Getting on with our assignments

As the Lord gave me the grace this morning I woke up to commune with my Father above and afterwards I obeyed His voice to write.  Dear reader I have been so behind in keeping in touch here and one of the main reasons is I just didn't think anyone was reading.  However I got a message from someone saying she would like to hear from me again and I met with someone who ever since I told her about my blog has read every post and is waiting for more.  She even gave me ideas on how to keep up.

You see as children of God, we sometimes tend to forget our assignments.  I was concerned about my effort being wasted rather than focusing on the One who asked me to write.  So I let all the different things which pull me from different ends pull me away from writing; so many excuses, so many projects how do I cope?

What is a homemaker doing?  He/she must have all the time in world.  It is very common belief about homemakers that we are lazy.  Wow!  Maybe some are, but not all.  A few weeks ago, I was asked by a friend if I could do a literature review for him in one and a half days, hmmmm.  I am a slow reader and hence a slow writer and according to my pace I need just about one and a half days to think about my structure while I am researching and reading.  If I were single, well I could try to rustle something up after a few cups of coffee and some all-night work, a few hours of sleep and work again.  But the reality is I am not single.  I cannot honestly tell you how many hours I have to myself within one and a half days especially while the children are on holiday.  I cannot predict that they will definitely cooperate with me by keeping quiet either to watch television or by keeping themselves busy.  They might just decide that they want my full attention for that day and they will frustrate all my plans to work.  To their beautiful minds, “we want to play with mummy today”.  So my 2 year old daughter would insist on sitting on my laps while I am writing and of course that wouldn't be just for her to watch me but to be part of the writing.  Then of course my 4 year old son wouldn't want to be kept out of the action.  In the bid to be helpful they might just break something.  In the bid to keep themselves busy they might leave the tap running and flood the bathroom.  Something funny might just happen which may not be funny at the time it is happening.  So, unfortunately as juicy as the proposed topic for the literature review was I just could not take it.  So are my children an excuse for not getting stuff done?  Well I will talk more about that in another post.  However what I would like to leave with you dear reader are the following;

God has an assignment for us all (the homemaker included) and there is a vacuum being felt when you don’t do what you are supposed to do.  Don’t focus on your efforts but on the One who sent you.

Secondly, if you have a misconception that all homemakers are lazy, please think again.  If you are single, I would advise you not to judge because you might just find yourself in that position and you will feel sorry for the way you have judged others.

Family Life - No shame for the Homemaker

Family is a beautiful institution; the love, the caring, the sharing, the fighting and quarreling - all these make family wonderful.  This is why even people who are somehow alienated from their blood families try to find solace by making family outside.  In the beginning even our creator saw that it was not good for anyone to be alone, hence the physical creation of woman and the command to multiply.

So what am I getting at with this family thing?  If you agree with me that family is beautiful, I wonder if you would be as pained as I am at the breakdown of family life.  From my perspective as a homemaker, family life is breaking down because of the extinction of the stay-at-home homemaker.  Traditionally, the woman is the homemaker but with changing times you find male homemakers or househusbands now.  As I wrote in an earlier post, you've got to have thick skin to tell anyone or fill out a form stating your occupation as housewife or househusband.  Why should that be the case?  What is so shameful about being a homemaker?

There is no cause for shame really.  In fact as a home maker you should be really proud of yourself.  I am!  I must confess it's taken time to get there though.  You see taking time to take care of your children is very important.  These are nations in the making, so you need to take deliberate steps at building the nations under your watch.

The destruction of future nations or generations is what is at stake when we do not take care of our families and this is why I believe there is an attack on family life as God ordained.  Staying at home is just for a season, it will not last forever.  There is time for everything, at time to stay at home and a time to build a career.

I will be talking about stepping out in a few posts from now, but what I can say is that you will know when the time is right.

Bye for now

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year there!


It's still January so I can still wish you a happy new year.  I feel it's such a privilege to get to see a new day and I feel even more awed to get to see a new year.  It sort of gives me the joy that I have yet another day on the ladder of destiny, that I still have a chance to fulfil the purpose for which I was created, the higher purpose being to live a life that glorifies my maker.


So I started this year like many others with hope for a better year than it was for me last year, this time with a better sense of purpose.  Last year, for the first time in my life I had no resolutions and so I started the year rather clueless of what I wanted to achieve.  But you know I believe that ALL things work for good to those that love God and are called to His purpose.  So even though I didn't make any resolutions, I ended the year in rather high spirits and stepped into 2014 with higher expectations.


Do I have any resolutions this year?  Well yes, only one.  To have a closer walk with my maker which means wanting for myself what He wants for me.  That way I can't go wrong because I know He only wants what's best for me.


Do you have any? I would advice that you should not just say them but write them down and then review from time to time so as to hold yourself accountable.   I wish you all the best as you try to keep them.


I promise this is going to be a fun year on my page so please enjoy the ride!


Cheers

Depending on a Man (Part 2)

It seems so many bad things have happened in life that people believe that good things only happen in an ideal world.  If things are going well with you, you don’t seem to belong to this world.  Anyway, I am continuing from where I stopped last time.

You see the way it works as a homemaker is that one partner makes home while the other goes out to bring bread.  Traditionally the woman does the former and the man does the latter.  So you could say that my family has conformed to the traditional way of life.  I am a housewife….

How I understand this so called “traditional” way of life is that as husband and wife we are a team.  God is the head of the team and we each have our roles to play and as we grow the dynamics of the team evolve.  Whatever the case may be there is no “I” in a team; we work together towards a shared vision to produce a particular outcome.  This is what plays out in the ideal world you may say and it’s really a pity that the way of the world has gone so much out of hand for us not to believe in the ideals of the family unit as a team.  I have heard so many sorry stories of women suffering because they were financially dependent on their husbands and so this is why people are generally weary of women who are housewives.  Most women don’t want to be housewives for the fear of being dumped or just being unable to meet some personal financial obligations.  Women’s family members or friends also don’t encourage women to become housewives for the same reason.

To be honest, it is really, really difficult to be financially dependent, especially when resources are scarce.  Think of it, I started working when I was 19 and I had moved abroad for the first time.  It was wonderful to have a few coins in my pocket to do a few things for myself without having to ask daddy.  I worked and fended for myself when I moved out on my own at 21.  I paid my bills, my rent, you name it.  I made my own decisions when I wanted to.  I went on holiday when I could afford it.  So here I am, I get back home, no job, no money I am earning.  My husband is doing fine but then we hit hard times so we needed to manage resources.  There were some decisions that could not be taken…So how did I cope?

Look at it this way, marriage is about taking the other person into consideration when making decisions, even in details as mundane as what to have for breakfast.  So there is already a little tension anyway.  It’s just more frustrating when the decisions are financial ones.  I need to get money from my husband to change my underwear (smile).  It’s funny when I hear women say that like it’s the worst insult on their dignity.  What dignity are you talking about for crying out loud?  The person buying your underwear sees underneath your underwear anyway, so what’s the big deal?  Anyway, what have I done so far?

The Bible says there is a time for everything under the sun.  For me it means there is a time to be quiet and keep to yourself and there is a time to come out of your shell.  So in the beginning of my journey as a housewife I decided to keep to myself.  I knew I was and am doing the right thing but I refused to have to justify my existence so that I wouldn't get drained.  You know sometimes when you have to talk so much you might start to blaspheme.  Ask Naomi in the book of Ruth.  When people were having a funfair to welcome her home and they saw she did not quite meet their expectations she blamed it all on God.  God had dealt with her badly, she said.  Ask Job.  When his friends went on and on tormenting him he ended up cursing the day he was born.  Being by myself and being content with what I have is what has kept me going.

Secondly, understanding that it is not my husband that sustains me but God.  My trust is in God to bring to pass what He has promised.  Not just financially but in all aspects of your marriage, as a woman you need to depend on God, not on your husband.  The poor guy is a human being like you, so you get what you bargain for if you depend on him; disappointment. 

Depending on a man? Part 1

When I was about to make my journey back home form the UK, a few of my relatives advised that I should try sorting out employment before coming home.  Surely I would get one at the drop of a hot because of where I was coming from and the degrees and experience I had bagged.  The rationale behind it was that I should not come home to depend on my husband.

Well I understand this rationale very well but unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you view it, I did not get a job.  I wasn't in the right frame of mind at the time to try (details in another post).  So I became a homemaker by default.  As I said in my last post, you need a lot of self-esteem to live confidently as a housewife if not you will find yourself trying to justify your existence every time.  So how did I handle it?

First I did a lot of reading.  I am naturally a home girl so being out and about was not really my thing.  Then I happened to go for a Christian Leadership Conference and there I learnt a few tips to cope.

My conclusion was this...Like Joseph the dreamer in the Bible, I had a lot of dreams, I still do.  However on his journey through life he had to invest in other people's dreams before his became a reality.  As a homemaker, I see myself investing in my family and one thing is certain, I cannot pursue my dreams to the detriment of the whole family.

In facing others I just have to be confident that I am doing the right thing for me and my family, regardless of what everyone else thinks about me.  I will continue with my coping strategy in my next post.....

Blessings....

Self-Esteem of the Homemaker

So I'm a homemaker, what's self-esteem got to do with it?  A whole lot I can tell you.....I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be a housewife, uh homemaker I mean.  The picture I had of myself was that I would have some high-flying career and I would travel the world saving humanity.  So I studied and worked hard, got a Masters degree and all.  So being a housewife was totally opposite from what I had planned.

Do you understand, dear reader, what it means to be a housewife?  You do all sorts of house chores and it all seems normal until you miss a spot and someone is making comments.  You take care of your family, especially the kids.  It's worse when they are tiny and can't speak.  You don't get paid for the jobs you do and what you do is priceless  You start to wonder why this is what you ended up doing after all the time and money spent getting a degree.

It's bad enough when you go out and you say you are a housewife.  People generally think that housewives are lazy and idle..  From the friend or neighbour who wants to keep you busy with free baby sitting, to the person out there that asks why you husband could not open a shop for you.  A SHOP!!!! For crying out loud what am I supposed to sell?!

It's worse still when you have to depend on your husband financially in a period when money is scarce.. All these factors have a great effect on your self-esteem. When you cannot really meet up with some financial obligations to your extended family and they start to wonder what you are doing sitting at home. Oh I forgot to mention how it feels when you see your course mates doing seemingly well and getting fat salaries.

You've really got to be high on self-esteem to believe that you are doing the right thing, if not you'll find yourself having to justify your existence as a person.

How have I coped?  I'll let you know in my next post.....tudulu....

Housewife or Homemaker

So I'm filling out my details on a form and then comes the occupation line.  What do I fill?  Housewife....Ok.... So I'm a housewife, have been since I relocated to Naija in 2009.  It wasn't planned that way, the plan was to join my husband and get a job, only the job-hunting wasn't successful and I got pregnant.  Anyways, when I first got back home it was alright for a few weeks until I started getting frustrated with sitting at home.  It wasn't so much the sitting at home that was getting to me but the fact that I couldn't do the things I had to do when I wanted to do them.  If you live in Nigeria you will understand when I say even a housewife can get frustrated by the PHCN.  So many things that need to be done need electricity so it was really getting to me.

So I'm a housewife....actually I found that it sounds posh to say I'm a homemaker; either way I've found that it's the most difficult job to do so I don't really blame the women who refuse to be housewives.  It's not just difficult in terms of the labour but also in terms of a woman's self-esteem and the way she is being viewed by society which makes even something as mundane as filling out a form sometimes really difficult.

How have I coped with this so far?  This is what the Holy Spirit laid upon my heart to document here.  I wonder who will be so interested as to read it but that's really none of my business. I am doing this in obedience to my Father and with that in mind I know this will be a blessing to you, my dear reader and even me.  So until I come back, happy reading!