It seems so many bad things have
happened in life that people believe that good things only happen in an ideal
world. If things are going well with
you, you don’t seem to belong to this world.
Anyway, I am continuing from where I stopped last time.
You see the way it works as a
homemaker is that one partner makes home while the other goes out to bring
bread. Traditionally the woman does the
former and the man does the latter. So
you could say that my family has conformed to the traditional way of life. I am a housewife….
How I understand this so called
“traditional” way of life is that as husband and wife we are a team. God is the head of the team and we each have
our roles to play and as we grow the dynamics of the team evolve. Whatever the case may be there is no “I” in a
team; we work together towards a shared vision to produce a particular
outcome. This is what plays out in the
ideal world you may say and it’s really a pity that the way of the world has
gone so much out of hand for us not to believe in the ideals of the family unit
as a team. I have heard so many sorry
stories of women suffering because they were financially dependent on their
husbands and so this is why people are generally weary of women who are
housewives. Most women don’t want to be
housewives for the fear of being dumped or just being unable to meet some
personal financial obligations. Women’s
family members or friends also don’t encourage women to become housewives for
the same reason.
To be honest, it is really,
really difficult to be financially dependent, especially when resources are
scarce. Think of it, I started working
when I was 19 and I had moved abroad for the first time. It was wonderful to have a few coins in my
pocket to do a few things for myself without having to ask daddy. I worked and fended for myself when I moved
out on my own at 21. I paid my bills, my
rent, you name it. I made my own
decisions when I wanted to. I went on
holiday when I could afford it. So here
I am, I get back home, no job, no money I am earning. My husband is doing fine but then we hit hard
times so we needed to manage resources.
There were some decisions that could not be taken…So how did I cope?
Look at it this way, marriage is
about taking the other person into consideration when making decisions, even in
details as mundane as what to have for breakfast. So there is already a little tension
anyway. It’s just more frustrating when
the decisions are financial ones. I need
to get money from my husband to change my underwear (smile). It’s funny when I hear women say that like
it’s the worst insult on their dignity.
What dignity are you talking about for crying out loud? The person buying your underwear sees
underneath your underwear anyway, so what’s the big deal? Anyway, what have I done so far?
The Bible says there is a time
for everything under the sun. For me it
means there is a time to be quiet and keep to yourself and there is a time to
come out of your shell. So in the
beginning of my journey as a housewife I decided to keep to myself. I knew I was and am doing the right thing but
I refused to have to justify my existence so that I wouldn't get drained. You know sometimes when you have to talk so
much you might start to blaspheme. Ask
Naomi in the book of Ruth. When people
were having a funfair to welcome her home and they saw she did not quite meet
their expectations she blamed it all on God.
God had dealt with her badly, she said.
Ask Job. When his friends went on
and on tormenting him he ended up cursing the day he was born. Being by myself and being content with what I
have is what has kept me going.
Secondly, understanding that it
is not my husband that sustains me but God.
My trust is in God to bring to pass what He has promised. Not just financially but in all aspects of
your marriage, as a woman you need to depend on God, not on your husband. The poor guy is a human being like you, so
you get what you bargain for if you depend on him; disappointment.
