I learnt how to drive in Germany and got my driver's licence in 2002. It was a skill I promised myself I would get when I am in Europe because I heard my aunties accusing my mum of not learning how to drive while she was there. Having positive peer pressure was also an advantage, I and my friends kept encouraging one another to get it.
Anyway when I got to Nigeria in 2009 I couldn't drive. I had driven a car about 4 times from the time I got my licence until I got back to Nigeria.....by the way, even after getting the licence I was scared of driving. I remember when I was taking practical driving lessons in Germany, I would feel like kissing the floor once I got out of the driver's seat.....
So fast forward, I'm back home in Nigeria, with a European driver's licence and I can't drive...my husband just couldn't understand why. Oh and by the way, I even had issues walking in Lagos. I used to take long walks to and from work in the city of London for at least 40 minutes each way. I thought I could do the same in Lagos....well I could to a certain extent.....I had to brace myself.... everything na hussle for dis Lagos o..... you'd understand if you live and work in Lagos. Lagos is so fast paced.... everyone is in a hurry, pedestrians, motorbikes, tricycles, cars, buses.... everyone claims right of way... it's crazy. It's not long before there's an accident somewhere, even if it's a slight brush up..... Anyways.....I found it really difficult to walk not to talk of driving.
But at some point I had to ask myself if it was really just the hustle and bustle that made me scared of driving or something deeper. I mean, if my husband did not have time to drive me somewhere, I could be stuck. Not that I couldn't take public transport. Or imagine my husband travels, the car is nicely parked and I go out to take public transportation. This happened many times. It was worse when I had children and we would walk passed the car and go take a bus, then it rains and we're stuck. I pitied myself and my children in situations like that.
After a little reflection, I realised it had to do with my mind set as well. I am on the small side in terms of stature and my size really deceived me, it still does sometimes. But my thinking was , 'what is this small girl doing at the stirring wheel?" I think I saw a few smallish ladies like me driving and that was my reaction towards them, so automatically that was my reaction towards myself. So I had to change my mind set and begin to see that driving was not a luxury, status or stature thing but a necessity and I took control of the stirring wheel. Now I've been driving for close to 5 years.
Why am I writing this? I have seen some women who are where I used to be. Their husbands drive them to Church and if he has to stay for a meeting, they either wait for about 3 hours doing nothing or he takes them home earlier..... it's such a burden on both parties as well as the children. Since I started driving, I can go out with my children whenever we want to and my husband is happy to take a bus as long he doesn't need to go out when he is not ready. We have a driver now, but we're not stuck.....
So if you are there where I used to be, I want to encourage you to do some reflection.....ask yourself why something that cannot talk or move without you taking control should scare you. Overcome your our fears and take control of it. I tell you, driving gives you a sense of freedom and the more you do it, you get used to it. It's not like your fears will disappear immediately....I used to have diarrhoea for an hour before I'm set to go out, and I would almost give up going altogether....somewhere along the line it stopped. I even hit a car once but I wouldn't let it stop me. Oh and I drove into a gutter as well. But I kept going.
So you go girl....face your fears.... till next time
Ciao
